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Disclaimer: The following jokes and other content was provided by Eve Radio listeners and does not express the concerns, views, or opinions of Eve Radio, Gaming Radio Network, or Eve-Online published by CCP. This web page is rated Parental Advisory 16 and should not be read by anyone under 16 years of age without parental consent. The content of this web page may contain unsuitable material and may offend some people on accident. The content is purely for fun and enjoyment. |
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| 007 Jackass > Why did the chicken cross the road? To see his flat mate. |
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0Power0 > A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it where the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says, "I want my $20 million." To which the man replied, "No sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today, and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years. The Redneck said, "I want all my money RIGHT now! I won it, and I want it." Again the man patiently explains that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years. The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I WANT MY MONEY!! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, THEN I WANT MY DOLLAR BACK!" |
| Artero Sarx > A guy is drinking at a bar. A man comes up to him and says, "I'll bet you twenty bucks I can jump out off the roof and be fine." The guy says, "You're on." The man goes up to the roof, jumps off, ands hit's the ground. Then he stands up and walks back inside. He then says, "Double or nothing, I bet you can't do the same thing." The first guy says, "Ok, if you can do it, so can I." He then goes up to the roof, jumps off, and hits the ground. He breaks every bone in his body. The bartender looks at the man and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you drink" |
| Arune Thane > Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man's turn. He asks for a fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, "To hell with your canoes!" |
| Avan Sercedos > What do the five fingers say to the face...SLAP!! |
| Bendro > “A pirate walks into a bar with a ship wheel hanging off his pants zipper. The bartender says, "whats that for?" the pirate then yells "YARR ITS DRIVING ME NUTS!" |
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Challenged > Why do women have legs? Otherwise they would leave snail trails everywhere. |
| Conall Gunnr > Two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin turns to the other and asks "hot enough for ya?" And the second muffin says (yell) "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!" |
| Devoniann > A bus of nuns crashes and explodes and the nuns go to heaven. At the gates they all have to dip into a fountain of holy water any body part that has come in contact with a man's penis. The first nun says she touched one with her finger and so dips her finger in and goes into heaven. The second has to use her whole hand. Then there is a commotion at the end of the line. Saint Peter goes to see what the trouble is... One nun says, I’m not about to gargle that water after Sister Margaret sticks her ass in it! |
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Firsttodie > A bloke walks into a bar with a crocodile. Predictably, most of the patrons scarper and the barman complains. But the owner of the croc says, "No worries, mate, watch this." Picking up a bottle, he smashes it over the croc's head. No reaction, other than a wag of the head. The bloke then gets his cock out and puts it in the croc's mouth, but again the croc just wags its head. Then a fellow punter asks if he can try it. "Help yourself, mate," says the owner. The punter proceeds to smash a bottle over the croc's head and then put his cock in its mouth. The croc just gives its usual response. Word spreads and several blokes try it. Then an old biddy walks up for a go. "Can I just make one request, though?" she asks the owner. "Ask away,” he replies. "Don't hit me so hard with the bottle." |
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getergdeKaasboer > 3 women - a mistress, a girlfriend and a house wife all bought the same sexy leather outfit, mask and cape for valentine’s day, They compared notes the following day; both the mistress and girlfriend said they had passionate sex all night when they met their guys. The house wife noted “when the hubby came home he opened the door took one look at me in the outfit and said "" what’s for dinner batgirl" |
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GhettoJedi > what do gay gangsters do when doing a drive-by? They throw skittles at people and scream "taste the rainbow bitches" LAWLZ!!! |
| Iron Hack > why did the snow man drop his pants? Because he saw the snow blower coming |
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Jef Rosso > Q: What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare?
A: A sunken chest with no booty! |
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Kalamity Jane > What did the Blonde's left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they've never met. |
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LaSableV > A man brings his date home to get busy, At the door, the woman says "You can tell a lot about the way a man has sex by the way he opens his door, If he jams his key into the lock and opens it fast and rough, than he's a rough lover, but if he is scrambling with his keys and is fumbling with it, then he is inexperienced, so how do you open your door?" The man replies “well, I like to lick my lock first..." |
Nebulas Starwalker >
Joke #1 Q: How do you make a cat go woof? A: Petrol and matches Joke #2 Q: Why don’t women ski? A: Because there’s no snow between the bedroom and the kitchen. Joke #3 Q: What do you call a brunette between two blondes? A: An interpreter. |
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Nosharii Salor > Whats that?
*clap-clap-clap-clap-BOOM-clap-clap-clap*? ** an Amish drive-by-shootin' |
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Quixotic Neutral > Mother Superior walks into a nun meeting and says "Sisters, we have a problem. We've got a case of Chlamydia."
Sister Mary Grace replies "Oh thank goodness. I was so tired of chardonnay." |
Tikareth Dismaye >
An Atom is walking down the street and accidentally bumps into a 2nd Atom. "Whoops, sorry, I didn't mean too," apologizes the 1st electron. "It's ok, I’ve have a bad day anyways," replies the 2nd atom sadly. "Why's that?" The 1st atom inquires. The 2nd Atom answers "Well, I lost an Electron..." "Are you sure?" The 1st one asks. "Yea, I'm positive." |
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