DJ Shuffle

#6 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 1:51, GMT  | DrMayhem  
  
What has two eyes in EVE?
Answer: Caldari Frigate 

#7 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 1:52, GMT  | Stars End  
 
Jack and Jill went up a hill - each with a buck and a quater -- Jill came down with two fifty - the F'in Whore!!!!! 

#8 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 1:52, GMT  | Forever Dawn  
   
You may have been playing Eve too long if:
-When people ask you if you're afraid to die, you answer "No, my clone is up to date."
-You have ever commented about a killing by saying, "Don’t worry, they were just NPCs."
-You have more "There I was in Jita" stories than you have stories of your family.
-You refer to your car as a 'Megathron.'
-You think of new situations for this list from your own experiences. 

#9 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 1:53, GMT  | Mannuel  
   
What is the eve-player's favorite meal?
Launch! 

#10 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 1:53, GMT  | Micis Mtxreli  
 
3 ladies were having a chat at a shopping mall about thier husbands and how they made love.
The 1st lady says: my husband is a marriage couselor and before we make love he brings me flowers and candy - i like that.

The 2nd lady says: My husband is a mechanic and he makes love a little rough - i like that.

The 3rd lady says: Well my husband works for ccp and all he does is sit on the edge of the bed and tells me how good its going to be when i get it. 

#11 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 1:55, GMT  | Lorean Darka  
   
How does a Minmitar ECM ship work?
by blowing up in the enemies faces and fouling there sensors 

#12 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 1:55, GMT  | Fox Magners  
   
Your mum is so fat when I met up with her at Todaki last night I had to enable "large collidable object" to find her in my overview. 

#13 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 1:55, GMT  | Interstella5555  
   
What did the one Stargate say to the other Stargate...?
"Derrrrrzooop" 

#14 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 1:55, GMT  | ludicium13  
   
Q. What's tragic about an Amarrian dying in a shuttle crash?
A. A shuttle can hold at least twenty of them. 

#15 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 1:55, GMT  | Mannuel  
   
How does a system hold up its pants?
With an asteroid belt!!!  

#16 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 1:58, GMT  | Jin'Ente Gallmei  
   
a gallente and a caldari talk. the gallente asks: "what do you fight for? money or honor?"
the caldari says: "for honor, you?"
the gallente replyes: "money, but i guess, everyone fights for what he lacks most"  

#17 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:01, GMT  | micis mtxreli  
   
How do you save a drowning Amarrian?
Take your foot of his head. 

#18 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:01, GMT  | DRMayhem  
  
What did one ship say to the other ship.

Answer: Nothing after it blew the other ship up! 

#19 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:02, GMT  | Mannuel  
   
why did the pilot cross the stargate?
he was running from concord!!!!!!!!!!!! 

#20 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:03, GMT  | Disgruntled Ninja  
   
Whats worse then holes in your ship?
Roids in your cargo hold. 

#21 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:06, GMT  | ReBornUsmc187  
   
q) what the difference between a table and a brutor?
a) a table can support a family 

#22 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:07, GMT  | nageri  
   
shuffle will ruffle you! he will cap yo dank so hard you will fly to caldari prime!  

#23 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:07, GMT  | Interstella5555  
   
A Gallente ambassador checks into a Ammar hotel on business. While in the stations canteen he sits down to have breakfast. 
He notices that the waitress has only brought him a single piece of toast. He calls her over and says "I want two piece!". 
The Ammarian looks at him funny and says, "Sir the bathrooms are just to the left and through that door". 

He looks at her and says, "No! I want two piece on the plate!" So the Ammarians kick him out and send him back to his room. 
Once he is there he decides to have a nap after not eating and being treated so badly. He notices there is only a single 
sheet on his bed. He dials room service. He asks her very politely, "I want to sheet!". The Ammarian on the the line says, 

"Sir you have your own private bathroom, just use that please." 
The Gallente ambassador is very annoyed and says, "No! I want two sheet on the bed!. 

The Ammarians take the Gallent ambassador outside and podkill him. 

#24 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:08, GMT  | ReBornUsmc187  
   
Q) whats the difference between a table and a brutor?
A)a table can support a family. 

#25 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:12, GMT  | Jason Shockington  
   
Two Amarrians get in a fight. Who wins?
The eight Minmatar slaves who were able to slip away while they were doing it. 

#26 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:14, GMT  | Moonfish sparkles  
   
3 Pilots are sitting chatting in a Bar, a An Armarrian, a Caldarian and a Minmatar.....
The Armarrian boasts "Us Armarians are the best because we were the first in space."

The Caldarian points out that "Us Caladrians are the best because we were the first to land on the moon."

The Minmatar then proclaims, "Well us Minmatar's are going to be the first to land on the sun."

With that the Amarrian and the Caldarian look at the Minmatar and say "You'll get burnt you idiot."

The Minmatar smiles & replies, "We're going at night ya morons!" 

#27 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:14, GMT  | Mannuel  
  
why did i loss my ship?
cause i was sending jokes on eve-radio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
seriously...

Damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

#28 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:16, GMT  | Tukjarusmc  
 
Q) whats the differance between 10 amarians in one room?
A) one amarrian in 10 rooms. 

#29 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:17, GMT  | Stars End  
   
What do Sanford and Son have in common in with the Mimatars...... ???? F'in EvERYTHING !!! HAVE YOU SEEN THAT JUNKYARD!!!! 

#30 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:18, GMT  | Interstella5555  
   
How much does it cost to build a Titan...?
About three fiddy. 

#31 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:20, GMT  | Fox Magners  
  
Dave: And that's when she slapped me. I used my best chat up line, and she slapped me. I mean, come on!
Steve: Holy crap! What the heck did you say to her?

Dave: ALL I ASKED was if she'd like a ride on my Megathron, I mean, what's up with that!

Steve: Dave. You're an idiot you know that?

Dave: It was worth it though  

#32 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:20, GMT  | Forever Dawn  
   
This Brutor with a huge pimple on his head walks into a bar. The barkeep says: "Hey, buddy. Where'd ya get that ?"
The pimple says: "Pator. Hygiene is horrid there." 

#33 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:23, GMT  | Micis Mtxreli  
   
So the Sansha's slave lord Is about to execute a bunch of slaves that are no use to him, he lines the slaves up against 
the wall in front of the firing squad and asks:any last requests b4 your executed?

1 of the slaves replies: yup, Could i please sing a song.

The slave lord thinks for a minute and says sure why not.

The slave starts singing: there are one billion one hundred and ninety eight million beers on the wall.

#34 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:24, GMT  | ludicium13  
   
I tried to salvage a Minmatar wreck for 10 minutes until he started firing at me. 

#35 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:26, GMT  | Fox Magners  
  
badgers badgers badgers badgers,
badgers badgers badgers badgers,
badgers badgers badgers badgers,
PANIC A RAT! OOOOH A RAT! OOOOOOH ITS A RAT!!!!

Its a badger badger badger badger,
badgers badgers badgers badgers,
badgers badgers badgers badgers,

veldspar veldspar! 

#36 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:37, GMT  | Fox Magners  
   
Where is it safe to leave your hulk unattended?
At a parking meteor! 

#37 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:39, GMT  | Fox Magners  
   
Why do missiles find it hard to keep a job in caldari space?
They keep getting fired on the first day! 

#38 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:44, GMT  | Fox Magners  
   
Two Minmitar pilots were in a hulk mining away at an asteroid belt. One had to go on a space walk to stretch his legs 
while the other stayed inside.When the space walker tried to get back inside the space ship, he discovered that the 
cabin door was locked, so he knocked.

There was no answer.

He knocked again, louder this time. There was still no answer.

Finally he hammered at the door as hard as he could and heard a faint quavering voice coming from inside...

"who... wh... who's there?" 

#39 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:46, GMT  | Micis Mtxreli  
   
When ninja salvaging minmatar mission runner wrecks it pays to examine somtimes. I was salvaging this 1 wreck 
for at least 20 cycles when the pilot convo'd me and asked if i would kindly stop trying to salvage his ship 

#40 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:49, GMT  | Brick Royl  
  
Heavy Assault ship 120mil isk
T2 wepons 12mil isk
T2 ammo 2mil isk
Shield/armor hardeners 3.5mil isk
Drones 1.5 mil isk
Rigs 40 mil isk
finding out the guy you are duleing forget to get ammo.. Priceless 

#41 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 2:51, GMT  | Big Billybob  
   
Whats short, shiney, and completely hilarious?
The line to the Federation Militia office. 

#42 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 3:01, GMT  | Interstella5555  
   
Whats the best part about winning a joke competition on eve-radio...?
Telling all my friends online I can. obnoxiouskid.jpg 

#43 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 3:02, GMT  | Innor Gannick  
   
Guys says to his wife "Let's try something kinky tonight!"
Wife says "Like what?"
Guy says "How about I cum in your ear?"
Wife says "Oh No! I might go deaf!"
Guy says "Well I've been cumming in your mouth for 20 years and your still bloody talking!" 

#44 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 3:03, GMT  | Fox Magners  
   
God was sitting quietly moulding ship designs for eve. He was on a tight deadline and couldn't afford any mistakes.
He'd just spent the last 18 thousand years artfully working on the Minmitar race when he smelt smoke coming from 
the kitchen - his pie! He'd burnt his pie.

Angry that his 18 thousand year old pie had been burnt, he smashed his minmatar masterpiece to bits and threw it 
into the game anyway.

Well, now you know  

#45 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 3:08, GMT  | Interstella5555  
   
Which mineral is the most royal?
Kernite. 

#46 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 3:20, GMT  | Mandingus  
   
Why are Amarrians so old?
Learning caps at 3 

#47 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 3:21, GMT  | Cardinal Agiri  
   
Why did the Gallente go to jail? He was seeing a miner... 

#48 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 3:24, GMT  | Disgruntled Ninja  
   
Whats the difference between real life and Eve?
You don't need permission to mine someones moon in eve.
or 
You hope your roids respawn daily in eve. 

#49 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 3:25, GMT  | Cardinal Agiri  
   
What song do pirates often when they are children?
"Pop" The Magic Dragon

#50 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 3:25, GMT  | Interstella5555  
   
What is the best part about mining with Malaysia? 
The amount I get per cycle. 

#51 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 3:30, GMT  | Cardinal Agiri  
   
Why did the drone reporter always have a job?
Because everywhere he went there was a scoop waiting for him... 

#52 | Sun, Mar 1 2009, 4:24, GMT  | mageri  
   
a caldari a minmatar a gallente and an amarr are all on the same planet. which one lives?
the minmatar because he is the group whore on the amarrian's ship! 

#53 | Sun, Mar 8 2009, 3:22, GMT  | kalamity Jane  
   
What did the Blonde's right leg say to her left leg?
Nothing, they've never met.