DJ Shuffle

How many caldari does it take to change a lightbulb?
however many the company contrat says it takes, period

How many Gallente does it take to change a lightbulb?
3, one to change the lightbulb, one to report to the rest of the federation on the catastrophy of the light going out, and one to go start a coup to overthrow the pervious government on grounds of bad light management

How many amarr does it take to change a lightbulb?
one plus a few slaves, a whip and some vitoc

How many minmatar does it take to change a lightbulb?
2, one to refill the oil pot and one rub sticks together

People call me a slaver. But really, I love Minmatar, I think everybody should own one.
Q. What's tragic about an Amarrian dying in a shuttle crash?
A. A shuttle can hold at least twenty of them.

How do you get a Minmatar out of the bathtub?
Throw in a bar of soap.

Problems with being a Minmatar Pilot:
1. Your tractor beam tries to tractor you!
2. When you try to lock something, you will randomly get a Windows vista type alert, asking you
     ten times if you want to proceed with this Dangerous action.
3. everytime you reprocess your minmatar ships, all you get is scrap metal!
4. warping can randomly cause parts of your ship to warp before you do!

Whats the difference between a Minmatar and DJ Shuffle?
A: A minmatar can afford to go to fanfest

Whats the one thing that the Minmatar, Caldari, Gallente, and Amarr have in common?
They all run fro Chuck Norris.

An Amarr, a Gallente, a Caldari, and a Minmatar were in a bar, when the discussion turned to God.
"God is an Amarr," said the Amarr,"and he made us to worship him and made the rest of you to test our faith."
"Nonsense" said the Gallente, "God is a Gallente. He made us all equal and gave us the means to live together peacefully."

"You are both wrong," said the Caldari, "God is a Caldari. See the order in the universe? 
He created us to maintain that order, and created the rest of you to give us a challenging job."

The Minmatar thought a moment, then pulled out his gun and shot the rest of them.
"Aren't we at war?" he said. 

Two caldari and a matari were taken captive by a pirate warlord and sentanced to death by firing squad as the first caldari is brought to the wall he looks past thesquad and cries out SANDSTORM!!!!! in the ensuing confusion he manages to escape.

The second caldari decides to try the same trick as his friendand as he is placed against the wall he looks over the squad and yells TIDAL WAVE and in the confusion he manages to escape.

The matari is then brought up to the wall and thinking that he is smart decides uppon the same trick that he had seen both caldari use.